Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts: Are Scary Thoughts Normal After Baby?

You are the one who just took your baby home. Right, everything should be right. But rather a horrible thought comes to your mind without warning. Perhaps you imagine throwing your baby down the staircase. Or you fantasize that something dreadful will befall them when they are asleep. Your stomach sinks, your heart beats, and you are a monster.

This is the truth that no one tells you. Intrusive thoughts occurring after childbirth occur in nearly all new parents. The unwanted and frightening thoughts do not imply that you desire to cause harm to your baby. They never turn you into a bad mother. They even demonstrate the concern that you have towards the safety of your child. Within this article, you will get to know precisely the reason as to why they do occur, what is normal and dangerous about them and how to ensure that they do not dictate your life. You need to breathe easy once again.

What Are Actually Postpartum Intrusive thoughts?

Postpartum intrusive thoughts are any mental images, ideas or urges that occur without any prior notice into your head. You do not choose them. You do not want them. They simply appear as an unwelcome guest to a party. This is usually accompanied with disastrous, dangerous, or awful things that occur to your newborn.

Majority of new mothers refer to them as flash thoughts that come up and fade away fast. They may imagine themselves falling over their baby off a balcony. Other mothers dream that their baby would die in the crib. Some have weird ideas that they would shake their child when he or she is crying.

The key word here is “unwanted.” You are sick and aghast at such thoughts. You would never act on them. The fact that you feel horror is a good thing since it means that your brain is aware that these thoughts are not right. These images are a perverse form of safeguarding your baby which is illogical but this is supported by the science.

Why Do Women Who Give Birth have Scary Ideas?

This is what the greater part of the world does not know. The postpartum period in your brain is enormous. Crash of estrogen and progesterone occurs in 24 to 48 hours following delivery. It is an earthquake that shakes up your brain chemistry that can cause intrusive thoughts after birth.

Deprivation of sleep is also a huge factor. During the first few months, new mothers get an average of 4 broken hours and not more than 6 hours of sleep. Your brain requires time to sleep intensively in order to control the emotion and to sieve off illogical ideas. Lack of rest causes your mental filter to become weaker and the scary thoughts find it easier to pass through.

Your mind, too, switches to a threat-detecting state following the birth of a child. Scholars at Yale School of medicine discovered that new mothers have heightened activity in brain regions, which are associated with worry and vigilance. Your brain physically rewires itself so that it can scan danger in all places. That protective wiring sometimes goes on overload causing worst-case-scenario thought that seems horrendously real.

There is stress and significant life changes on top of all of this. You may have money, relationship, or good enough mother pressure. Once you realize how depression and anxiety intersect in the postpartum period, you begin to notice that your mind takes you to the darkest places in the face of this crushing period.

Prevalence of Postpartum intrusive thoughts?

You had better ponder on this figure awhile. In a study conducted in the Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic and Neonatal Nursing, about 91 percent of new mothers confirm to have had unwanted intrusive thoughts about the baby. It means that nearly any single mom you will find in the park, the grocery shop, or the doctor at the pediatrics has had to cope with these thoughts as well.

Research by the University of British Columbia determined that new fathers share these thoughts as well. Approximately, 88 percent of new dads said that they had experienced disturbing, unwanted thoughts of harm to their newborn. So this is not a “mom problem.” It is a new parent issue, which few people are open about.

The postpartum intrusive thoughts are so frightening because of their silence. You become lonely and humiliated when you consider yourself as the only person thinking this way. However, as soon as you know that almost all new parents have such an experience, the burden gets lightened somewhat. You are not broken. You are not dangerous. You are incredibly normal.

These thoughts are frequent among most mothers and take place half a dozen times a day in the first three months. The rate of reduction normally slows down after the third and sixth month as hormones stabilize and sleep becomes better. Other mothers experience the periodic intrusive thoughts up to one year after childbirth, which is still within the normal range.

What Do Postpartum Intrusive thoughts really look like?

There are numerous forms of intrusive thoughts that appear in new mothers. They are not all the same. Knowing their various variants will enable you to know them when they occur and remove some of the influence they have over you.

Ruminations concerning unintended injury.

These are the most widespread kind of postpartum intrusive thoughts. You may imagine stepping on something and carrying your baby. One might even be able to conceive how the car seat would crack during a ride. Or perhaps you have a bright image of rolling off the changing table of your baby. These reflections revolve around the accidents but not deliberate harm.

This kind of type is daily experienced by most mothers within those initial weeks. The brain plays the role of preparing you to avoid accidents by running all the possible scenario of dangerous condition. It is tiring as it is truly tiresome. Your brain over overacts in ensuring that your baby is safe when there is no threat.

Reflections on Premeditated Mischief.

It is these thoughts that are the most upsetting and humiliating. You may have a flash picture of destroying your baby by beating it on the wall. You may imagine yourself bathing your baby in water. There are mothers who fantasise about going and stabbing their baby with a cooker knife as they make a meal.

Such reflections put you in a state of thinking that you are a terrible, dangerous person. This however is the significant part. It is one thing to think something and to desire to do it. When these thoughts scare you off and leave you sick, then you are experiencing the correct alarm system in your brain. Thou would not do such things and it is the pain you feel that attests to it.

Thoughts About Sexual Harm

And this is the one that almost no one discusses. New mothers may also have an unwanted sexual thought of their baby whenever changing the diapers or during breastfeeding. Extreme feelings of shame and guilt are brought about by these thoughts. Most mothers do not inform any one about them, as they are fearful that they will be reported or lose their child.

These thoughts have been found to be common as well as being normal. Nothing they say is that you desire to sexually abuse your child. They are the anxiety about vulnerability and protection of your brain firing in the worst possible manner. When you find yourself thinking those thoughts, you should understand that you are not a predator by having them.

Reflections on your Baby Dying.

Most of the new mothers are thinking that their baby is going dead when they are lying awake at night. You may make ten or fifteen checks as to whether your sleeping baby has fallen asleep. Other mothers visualize the situations of SIDS. The rest of them envision that their baby will be choking on the milk and they will fail to rescue them.

These intrusive thoughts in which you are afraid are related to your new position as protector. Your brain projects the death scenarios to ensure that you remain highly alert and will respond to any emergency. In as far as this preserved the life of early humans, it causes needless suffering to modern mothers who already live in fairly safe conditions.

When Intrusive Thoughts Are Normal and When Do You Care?

It is the issue that haunts new mothers through the night. What do you do to understand whether your postpartum intrusive thoughts are normal or something serious? There are evident contrasts you must currently get familiar with.

Indications Your Ideas are Original.

Normal intrusive thoughts pass by in a short period of time and often take only a few seconds. Their presence bothers you and you wish they were to stop. You are not in the least wishing to do anything about them. You need not be uncomfortable to care about your baby. You understand that these are not what you actually desire or who you really are.

There are most mothers who have normal intrusive thoughts but perform well as parents. They may be anxious and shaken but they do not stop feeding, changing and taking care of their baby. The thoughts lead to distress but never lead to total breakdown in normal functioning. You may put off some of the things, such as baby bathing, but you seek loopholes.

The Red Flags That Require Expert Assistance.

You are to seek assistance when you find yourself thinking all the time and you do not get a rest. Keep an eye out where you feel the need or attraction to follow the thoughts as opposed to being horrified by them. When you begin to hear the voices that come and say cut your baby, then you enter an entirely new universe. And also, be attentive whether you feel that your baby would be better without you.

These symptoms may indicate postpartum depression or psychosis, both of which must be treated at once by a specialist. Postpartum psychosis incidence is approximately 1: 1000 – 2: 1000 with a loss of contact with reality. It is a healthcare crisis that is requiring immediate treatment.

Easy Trick: This is a test I use to test myself. When your frightening belief causes you to feel appalling and you wish it to cease, then probably you are undergoing regular intrusive constructs. When the thought is good or an order that you should obey, then phone your doctor immediately.

The Science of why your brain thinks this way.

With the birth of a baby, your brain did not break. It has actually improved its protection software, and the improvement has certain irritating glitches. The science of postpartum intrusive thoughts in the brain makes them far less terrifying.

Your amygdala (centre of the brain), which is the fear centre of the brain, becomes more active and responsive during pregnancy and after the child is born. This increased movement will have you more sensitive to danger to your baby. This is essentially the brain putting its threat detection system to the fullest extent. All potential risks are magnified, thought over, and acted out in dramatic scenarios.

The bonding hormone, Oxytocin, which surges your body when you are breastfeeding and skin-to-skin interacting also become anxiety sensitive. This is self-contradictory, but it makes sense within evolution. The hormone which connects you with your baby is the same hormone which makes you hyper vigilant of anything that may jeopardize the connection between you and your baby. The more love you have the more you fear losing your love.

Sleep deprivation and hormonal changes temporarily weaken your prefrontal cortex which is the rational thinking and impulse control. This is an indication that your logic department of the brain is impaired to sift out irrational thoughts when they are passed onto your conscious mind. The images of terror penetrate your firewall of the mind since your firewall is operating on minimal power at the moment.

Useful Postpartum Intrusive Thinking Coping Strategies.

Intrusive thoughts are impossible to stop appearing. However, you can most certainly modify your reaction toward them. Such measures are based on clinical trials and actual mothers who have been through this already.

What Is Being Called The Name of the Thinking?

When a terrifying thought appears say to self: That is an intrusive thought. It is not anything concerning me. This mere labelling puts a gap between you and the thought. You cease to be associated with the thought and begin to watch it as a cloud in the sky.

This method is known as cognitive defusion by cognitive behavioral therapy. Studies indicate that it minimizes the emotional effect of intrusive thoughts by 40 and 60 percent in the long run. To learn more about this method you can use a step-by-step guide to CBT of postpartum depression that will guide you in practical exercises.

Allow the Idea to Pass by Not Struggling with it.

The first thing you will feel like doing is to push the thought aside and attempt blocking it out. Do not do this. Confronting intrusive thoughts of course enhances and increases them. It is known as the white bear effect since when a person is told not to think about a white bear, the picture they get in their mind is a white bear.

Rather accept that the thought is and then brush it off. Suppose that the thought were placed upon a leaf and set down a stream. This is something practiced and it is uncomfortable initially. However, you will find that the thoughts no longer hold on to you in a couple of weeks.

Get Your Head Out of the Clouds.

Shame grows in silence. As long as you hold your postpartum intrusive ideas inside, they appear larger, darker and more dangerous than they actually are. When you reveal these thoughts to some one you can trust, your power over them is instantly weakened.

Find a partner, a friend, therapist, or support group with whom you are safe being honest. It could sound as follows: I continue to have frightening thoughts about the baby, and I realize that they are not real, but they bother me. In the majority of cases, the other individual will tell you that he or she had a similar experience. That mutual knowledge is a panacea of those ailing.

Sleep Without Sleeping To Sleep.

Sleep deprivation is the intrusive thoughts on a gasoline fire. The more hours of sleep you are deprived of, the less your brain is capable of controlling emotions and blocking unreasonable ideas. The number of scary thoughts can be significantly decreased by simply getting an additional hour of sleep each night.

Get your partner to feed during one of the nights in order to have four hours of uninterrupted sleep. Take the assistance of the family members who will take the baby and allow you to take a nap. This is not selfish. It is a psychological need that safeguards the lives of you and your infant.

Less Caffeine and More Screen Time.

Consumption of excessive caffeine past 2PM interferes with your already weak sleep habits. The information overload of scrolling the news or social media before going to bed makes your brain overwhelmed with anxiety-provoking information. The two habits both raise the rate of intrusive thoughts and make them seem more vivid and disturbing.

Attempts to replace decaf after lunch and turn off your phone an hour before sleeping. Substitute screen time with light-intensity stretching, breathing, or listening to relaxing music. These minor victories provide a less stressful psychological atmosphere in which intrusive ideas will find fewer spaces to develop.

Treatment Choices that Work in Profession.

Self-help strategies are not always sufficient, and there is nothing wrong about it. Treatment of postpartum intrusive thoughts is a great success especially when it is identified early enough. You need not go through this all by yourself.

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).

CBT is the best treatment of intrusive thoughts in new mothers. A therapist assists you in recognizing the patterns of thinking, bursting irrational thought, and coming up with more healthy reactions to frightening thoughts. In the majority of mothers, there is a great improvement in 8-12 sessions. To get a taste of the appearance of each session, you can learn about how cognitive behavioral therapy is used to treat postpartum depression.

Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)

ERP is a particular form of treatment of intrusive thoughts and OCD-like symptoms. Your therapist opens up you slowly to the contents of your fears in a controlled environment. You are taught to be able to sit with the discomfort without engaging in safety behaviors. The success rate of intrusive thought disorders is about 60 to 80 percent of this therapy.

Medication Options

Postpartum Support International deems selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI) such as sertraline and fluoxetine to be safe during breastfeeding. These drugs are used to balance the brain chemistry and minimize the incidence and intensity of intrusive thoughts. Majority of mothers will experience the improvement after 2 to 4 weeks of medication.

The situation on how to balance the advantages versus the risks can be assisted by your doctor. A number of mothers discover that combination of medication and therapy are best results. Compare treatment options of postpartum depression as best treatments are listed out.

Comparison: Normal Intrusive Thoughts, Postpartum OCD, and Postpartum Psychosis

What Your Partner Should know about your Scary Thoughts.

Spouses have a massive contribution in post partum intrusive thoughts recovery. But the best majority of partners do not even know what intrusive thoughts are. Senting this article to your partner might invite a discussion where your life, and that of your partner will be changed.

Your partners need to understand that your terrifying thoughts do not imply that you are a threat to your baby. They must not take the baby away and make you like a threat. Such reaction adds to the shame and worsens the thoughts. Rather, spouses are expected to provide comfort, relieve you of some responsibilities so that you can sleep, and to make you turn to professional help when it is necessary.

The most effective thing that a partner does is not to judge you but listen to what you have to share. It goes a long way when one actually says there is no way you would hurt our baby, say things like that sounds really scary. Educated partners who research the topic of postpartum anxiety and its variations with depression will become more effective support mechanisms to struggling mothers.

Three Things Other Articles Leave out of Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts.

A majority of the articles on postpartum intrusive thoughts include the fundamentals and leave at that. These are three things you will not come across anywhere.

To begin with, intrusive thoughts may in fact be aggravated when things are well. Most mothers say that the worst thoughts are the ones that come into their minds as they are enjoying quiet moments with their baby and are in love. This is due to the fact that your brain has already realized the value of the moment and it sends instant fear of losing it. The more pleasant things are, the more your nervous mind attempts to inform you of the impending disaster.

Second, the intrusive thoughts are aggravated by social media comparison. When you are scrolling through the flawless motherhood posts, your brain notices something wrong between what you have and what you should have. The gap leads to self-doubt, which contributes to anxiety and thus, increases intrusive thoughts. A 15 minutes per day restriction of social media during the postpartum period decreases the frequency of thought significantly.

Third, the intensity of intrusive thoughts directly depends on your diet. Skipped meals cause low blood sugar which results into cortisol spikes worsening anxious thoughts. The presence of omega-3 fatty acids in salmon, flaxseed and walnuts assists the brain chemistry of the brain to weed out irrational thought. Proper and balanced meals are a rather useful weapon against a frightening postpartum thoughts that remain entirely unacknowledged by most pieces of advice.

FAQ Section

Your Next Step toward Peace of Mind.

Almost every new parent is afflicted with postpartum intrusive thoughts, but few people discuss them openly. Such silence brings about unwarranted shame and sufferings to millions of mothers annually.

These are your main takeaways out of this article:

• The presence of scary thoughts following the birth of a baby is very normal and does not make you dangerous.
• The protective wiring of your brain does an overload once you are born, inventing worst-case scenarios.
• The horror which you feel of these thoughts demonstrates you would never do it.
• Basic techniques such as thought labeling, focusing on sleep, and open-ended conversation are actually a relief.

This is the one obvious step that you have. Share with a person you are close to what you have thought today. Regardless of whether the individual is your partner, best friend, or doctor, there is nothing more effective than breaking the silence that you are currently in. This is your time to have a good time with your baby and not live in fear that they have their ransom.

The article is informational and no longer serves as a professional medical advice. In case of some scary thoughts or a feeling that you cannot stop acting on intrusive thoughts or psychosis, contact your care provider or call the Postpartum Support International helpline at 1-800-944-4773 right now.